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[23 Sep 2006|01:59am] |
i feel like shit for two reasons.
one im actually feeling all the pain that i should have been feeliong for like a month now but with no pain killers it sucks and i have to deal with it.
two im still in love with her and it still hurts just has much has it did before i left florida.
i miss my drugs and drinking.
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[27 Aug 2006|09:06pm] |
i was in the newspaper today for when i got arrested for my dwi.
i have 17 days till i go to court.
im going to move back to florida after i go to court.
evrything is falling to shit for me.
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[26 Aug 2006|11:55pm] |
i miss florida a lot right now.
dont really want to be in NH anymore.
im fucking myself over by living here.
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[17 Aug 2006|12:06am] |
Can you understand my meaning hidden in the roses around my eyes
I want you to know how much it means to have you in my life
Your love brings me close again in this instance this single moment
when our worlds collide
The wire of eternity twists around us
I can feel this river rising, moving up my back
Some things never change
Some things never go away
Some things never change
Some things never go away
I could never forget you
and I will never be the same
I can never forget you
and I will never be the same
Some things never change
Some things never go away
Some things never change
Some things never go away
I could never forget you
and I will never be the same
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[24 Jul 2006|03:37pm] |
Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting
This distance, this dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you
Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
You know me, you know me all too well
My only desire - to bridge our division
In sorrow I speak your name
And my voice mirrors my torment
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture, a bitter memory
For comfort, for solace
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
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[10 Jul 2006|05:59pm] |
still alive
thought id let you all know that.
im doing ok i guess. ive been clean from drugs for over a month now. still drink just not everyday or in large amounts. working a job i hate and not really making any money.
i miss a lot of things from florida.
my head isnt right.
moved away from things but yet theyre still fucking with my head.
thats it for now i guess.
peace
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[31 May 2006|12:12pm] |
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3 days till im gone.
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[26 May 2006|12:15pm] |
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well i have 7 days left till i move. im very excited to move. ive been doing somethings lately that a lot of poeple dont like but its what i want to do so fuck you. ive been in bad moods lately i guess dont really care. i like being an asshole to poeple, its fun and i injoy very much. thats it i guess.
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[23 May 2006|09:22pm] |
10 days left till i move.
10 more fucking days.
god i cant wait.
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[22 May 2006|11:00am] |
Bad habits
Bad habits
Bad Habits
Bad habits, Bad habits
Picked a few up nine years in this game
Bad habits, Bad habits
Life style's fast driving me insane
Bad habits, bad habits
Daily doses you just got to maintain
Bad habits, bad habits
Drinking beer, smoking weed, and a pack a day
A pack a day (Cigerettes) seven grams of weed (chronic) A beer when i'm ready (Bud light)
Yall know me, (Who?) yeah I got some habits, I picked up a few, it's the d-lo-c so what chu gonna do?
The demons inside me, are clinging so tightly, the voices in my head say "You don't wanna come down" m'kay.
A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit
Bad habits, Bad habits
Everybody has them, who you got to blame?
Bad habits, Bad habits
Flush it all away, go an' spit it down the drain
Bad habits, Bad habits
Chemical dependencies have a hold of your brain
Bad habits, Bad habits
When my time comes, I'll go out with a bang
I got problems that I don't tell many, talk about bad habits shit, I got plenty
Nicotine, weed, beer, shooting pool and playing cards, mushrooms, pills, strange pussy fast cars
Yeah, Jonny Richter, pass the mic, better yet don't, need to pass the pipe
I'm trying to hit that shit, but you're not paying attention, I wanna pack a rip, don't trip just keep sitting
A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit
Bad habits, Bad habits
Picked a few up nine years in this game
Bad habits, Bad habits
Life style's fast driving me insane
Bad habits, bad habits
Daily doses you just got to maintain
Bad habits, bad habits
Drinking beer, smoking weed, and a pack a day
This wishing addition is kinda strange to me, gotta quit gotta kick for my family
Cuz if I crash fast everybody's outie, And that's way too heavy pressing on me
It's the d double dash, I bash like an army, and when it's time to mash, I crash really strongly
I always pop a pill with the three roll bent I complish my task, you can't hold me (me)
A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but I've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit
Your eyes they just won't open, you don't know what you been smoking
Got your whole family hoping "Oh I wish that he'd just slow down" (slow down)
The game is tough and silent where these groups are just smokin', soldier.
You're smoking and then toking and you're dead in the ground (Na Mean?)
A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit
Bad habits, bad habits
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[17 May 2006|10:59am] |
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too much bullshit going on.
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[16 May 2006|02:11pm] |
Believe it or not the notes are trying to talk to me
I've got to applaud such valiant efforts
It's not always the party that it seems to be
It can be a complete debacle
This is not the most routine 9-5 you see
There are some occupational hazards
Perhaps you'll try to save my spot?
Just until the album drops
Then I'll be at the Capri shop
Adjacent to the graham L stop
Believe it or not we're not the ideal guys to date
So I guess I'm a risky decision
But you did not write me off, you knew that I could change
So I'm studying my guide to safety
It's so hard to tell if this is an artistic achievement
Or am I singing for obligation
When all I want is to feel my heart rate
Accelerate, and we accelerate
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[15 May 2006|11:18am] |
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19 mother fucking days left till i move.
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[12 Apr 2006|01:27pm] |
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im moving june 9th to new hampshire
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[11 Apr 2006|08:29am] |
| [ |
music |
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hed pe-- wake up |
] |
You see me - I see through you
You say fuck me - I say fuck you
You don't love me - I don't love you
I rise above and I say "Fuck You Bitch"
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[09 Mar 2006|02:41pm] |
| [ |
music |
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As I Lay Dying The Pain Of Separation |
] |
How can I bear this any longer
Take me away
Arms stretched out only to hold separation
Take me away
Take me away
Take me away
Take me away
I'm dying inside, emptied before you
Take me into your arms
I will fight until the day when I will see you
Sight given to these blind eyes
When will I
be taken from this life
take what is yours
You deserve more than my life
You deserve more than my life
Take me Away!
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[06 Mar 2006|10:35am] |
The one thing in my life that made me truely happy is killing me now.
I dont wont to go back to the way I was, I want to be happy again.
I dont know how much more of this pain I can take before I say enough and
fix it the way everyone doesnt want me to.
So Im saying sorry before I do anything stupid.
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[06 Sep 2005|12:03pm] |
i got a new tattoo.
ill have pics later of it.
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[19 Aug 2005|02:56am] |
| [ |
music |
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Motograter New Design (Start Over) |
] |
I woke up today
Didn't feel like I had slept at all
Just another restless night
Such a reckless life
I wish that I could take it slow
Live it simple day by day
But there's always something new
Something in the way
Id like to change the hands of time
Start over, someone hit rewind
Break ground and build a new design
Start over, leave this all behind
Thumbing through the paper
It's the same old black and white
One man gets to live
And a dozen have to die
The reality that we create
We cross the lines we love to hate
Something we see everyday
But we always choose to look away
I'd like to change the hands of time
Start over, someone hit rewind
Break ground and build a new design
Start over, leave this all behind
The times have changed
But were still the same
The cycle just repeats itself
It goes on and on
The times have changed
But were still the same
The cycle just repeats itself
It goes on and on and on
On and on and on
Creeping down the boulevard
Among the walking dead
They're numb to nearly everything
Accepting what they're fed
I'd like to change the hands of time
Start over, someone hit rewind
Break ground and build a new design
Start over, leave this all behind
The times have changed
But were still the same
The cycle just repeats itself
It goes on and on
The times have changed
But were still the same
The cycle just repeats itself
It goes on and on and on
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[07 Aug 2005|11:25pm] |
well i just got back from the hospital.
they put a new string thing in me and took the IV out.
i have to go back tomorrow
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